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Marketing Insights and Outrages by Drayton Bird, Mike Hewitt

By Drayton Bird, Mike Hewitt

Released in organization with advertising and marketing journal

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Thus, seven-fi~re a sum has been spent in renr i d ~ a t e station. 30 every day. Nobody has given any thought to the consequences of this for the aged and incontinent, like me. Or consider the Post Office. A century ago you couldpost a letter in the centre of London before lunch to tell your wifein the suburbs you wouldnot be arriving back for dinner, in the confident knowledge it would get there. Not now! What it all adds up to is that, whereas politicians are getting ever more subtle in their gradations of bullshit, none of them could run a brothel on a troop train.

The hotel I mention is The Observatory in Sydney. Mercury was aphonecompanylaunched to compete with British Telecorn. Theiradvertising, which was very funny, won buckets o f awards. Their advertising agency became famousand successful. They never made money becausetheir advertising was more interesting than their proposition. Now they are called something else. DATE: FEBRUARY 1996 Did you read about the latest great idea from the busybodies at the childrenshouldbediscouragedfrom e they should change their name to the ~ationalSociety to ~ r o ~ i b i t ~ e c t i oChildren.

Do the ends justify the means? I wonder. My dentist makes a small fortune out of putting sundry ingenious pieces of miniature architecture in my mouth, which I plan to leave eventuallyto the Natural History Museumas an example of what can be achieved by a determined practitioner who gets his hands on a customer ~ t more h money than teeth. Our sado-masochistic relationship allows meplenty of time to flip through sundry glossy magazines, from one of which, ~ a Claire, ~ eI recently learnt that Christina Appelt,41, runs a dating agency in Berlin for married folk who want to screw around.

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